Are you playing Tug of War with those you love?
Imagine you’re standing across from someone in a grassy field. The sun is warm on your face and a soft breeze ruffles your clothing. On the ground, a thick rope stretches out between you and the other person. You both reach down and pick it up.
Then you start pulling.
The person across from you resists.
Soon you’re straining with all your might. But you never gain more than an inch or two. It seems pointless. But for some reason you feel like you have to continue fighting against the person you’ve now labeled “Foe”.
Then your muscles give out. The rope slips from your grasp. You and your opponent both fall backwards. But you notice something. The resistance is gone. You feel light and giddy. The rope is still there but now you have no desire to grasp it. You are content to lie there experiencing the deep relaxation and peace that overcomes you now that all resistance is gone.
Why do we feel that we must meet resistance with resistance? Why do we feel that we have to pull on the rope? Just because it’s there?
Imagine the rope represents a conflict between you and someone you care about.
Do you have to pick up the rope when you notice it?
What happens in your life, and relationship with that person, when you notice the rope and choose to leave it alone?
The rope represents conflict. Conflict only occurs when you choose to resist something. Yes sometimes conflict can be helpful if you use it to grow—by focusing on what you can learn from it instead of how you can win. But mostly conflict just adds unnecessary drama to our lives.
So what do you do when you notice conflict brewing between you and someone you care about?
You can choose to grab it, to latch on, to start a Tug of War match…
Or, and I prefer this option, you can choose to leave it alone and look for a calm resolution. If you refuse to pick up the rope the other person might stomp around for awhile, but they’ll usually calm down a lot quicker than if you decide to “Fight Back”. Once they’ve calmed down you can seek a rational resolution.
Sometimes the other person might not realize the rope is there until you pick it up and give it a tug. They might do something that upsets you. But they didn’t mean it the way you thought they did. That means you’re choosing to be upset because you misunderstood their actions.
Seems like a silly reason to fight to me. But many, many arguments start that way!
Remember, your perception of an event often creates more trauma than the actual event!
So the next time you feel like getting into a tug-o-war with someone you care about, take a moment and ask yourself, “Do I really want to pick up this rope?”
When you notice the rope lying there and choose to leave it alone, you’re on your way to becoming the Miracle in Your life and the Miracle in the lives of those you love!
To learn more about how your perception influences your life, conflict resolution, and how you can Be the Miracle you’ve been waiting for, read Your Blueprint, Life by Design and Break Your Mold: The Art of Overcoming Patterns and Behaviors that Hold You Back!
You Are The Master of Your Destiny!
Copyright © 2011 Roland Byrd — All Rights Reserved
*Image provided courtesy of MeePoohFoto’s*