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Roland Byrd

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Personal Development

Jan 30 2017

How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem

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Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Low Self-Esteem Hurts!

Have you ever suffered from low self-esteem? Where you’re continually down on yourself or think of yourself in a negative light? Do you ever worry that you might be worthless?

I have. For much of my life I had low self-esteem. I hated myself and thought I was worthless. It didn’t matter if others criticized me because I was always beating myself up verbally, mentally, and physically. In fact, one time as a teenager, I was angry at something I’d done and literally beat myself up by slamming my face into my knee repeatedly… So believe me, I know what it’s like to suffer with low self-esteem. And I overcame it. So can you!

What changed? How did I overcome my self-esteem issues?

I changed my beliefs about myself and who I am, what I’m capable of, and my value as a person. Changing these beliefs modified my personal identity. That shifted my thinking. This change in thinking replaced my old, disempowering thoughts with new empowering ones. New behaviors followed. I naturally began feeling better about myself because as my beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors changed, my self-esteem improved. As I established habits that supported a healthier self-image my personal value continued to grow. Over a short time I developed higher self-esteem and I’ve maintained it since then.

I’m going to show you how your internal beliefs shape your personal identity. Then I’ll give you an easy to follow step—that you can start doing today—to start changing self-beliefs and overcome low self-esteem.

Beliefs, Identity, & Behavior

Beliefs Identity and BehaviorThe beliefs we have about ourselves shape our personal identity. Our personal identity impacts our behaviors. Our behaviors then reinforce our beliefs. This cycle is why it’s often hard for people to change unhealthy behaviors or habits. When new behaviors aren’t aligned with self-beliefs, actions are inconsistent with identity. When actions are inconsistent with one’s identity a struggle ensues. The subconscious mind wars with the conscious mind because the subconscious mind wants consistency between behavior and identity while the conscious mind wants new, healthier behavior.

For example; if we believe we’re doomed to be overweight then we’ve adopted being overweight as part of our identity. We see ourselves as overweight. Our subconscious mind continually offers us behaviors that keep our physical appearance—and health—in tune with that belief. Until we change that belief—and see ourselves as physically healthy—we’re going to have a hard time keeping weight off. This creates a constant battle between our conscious and subconscious minds.

Subconscious mind warring with conscious mind

Once we change our self-belief and believe we’re a physically healthy person, our identity shifts. Our behaviors naturally follow. We see ourselves as healthy so we eat like a healthy person eats. We exercise like a healthy person exercises. In essence we behave how we believe a healthy person behaves and our life changes.

This is true for any belief we have about ourselves. If we believe we’re an addict we’ll behave like an addict. A person who believes they’re an alcoholic will behave like an alcoholic. Self-beliefs about being dumb or poor or violent manifest in behaviors that match those beliefs.

Healthy Beliefs Manifest in Healthy Behavior

The good news is any healthy belief we see in ourselves will manifest in behavior too. If we believe we’re smart we’ll also behave like a smart person. When we believe we’re kind we’ll behave kindly. Beliefs that we’re generous, productive, successful. They also manifest in those behaviors. All of these beliefs and behaviors boost our self-esteem!

Now that you understand how your beliefs impact your identity and see how your identity tunes your behavior, I’ll give you a simple process you can use immediately to start modifying your beliefs and overcome low self-esteem.

Daily Affirmations

Pick a belief you want to change—something that will help you feel better about yourself—and create a few affirmations for it. Then repeat them to yourself as often throughout the day as you can. I recommend a minimum of 5 times. Remember affirmations should be phrased positively—focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want. Repeat them with strong emotion too because this tells your subconscious mind they’re important.

Let’s get you started. Think of the belief you want to change. Now think of what your new, healthy belief is. Got it? Great!

Fill in the blanks, on these starter lines, with your new belief:

More and more I’m ________________________!

Every day I grow __________________________!

I love how it feels now that I’m _________________!

I’m in the process of ________________________!

I love how it feels when I _____________________!

I love the idea of ___________________________!

I’ve decided that I’m ________________________!

I’m in the process of becoming __________________!

Now memorize your affirmations and repeat them you yourself every time you think of it throughout the day. This isn’t a one day deal either. You must repeat your affirmations daily until your new belief is clearly, firmly, soundly in your subconscious mind. As your new beliefs become part of your subconscious, your self-esteem will naturally improve!

Deal? Great!

New Beliefs Create New Behavior

As a bonus, you can download the .pdf My Affirmation Starter Kit—an extra from my book “The Law of Action: How to Hit Your Target Every Time”—then fill it out and use it as a template to help you with your new affirmations.

You did it! You’re amazing! Keep it up and always remember:

 You are The Master of Your Destiny!

Roland

P.S. For more ways to overcome issues like low self-esteem—or other problem areas in your life—Read “Break Your Mold: The Art of Overcoming Patterns and Behaviors that Hold You Back”

#Self-Esteem #Behavior #ChangeYourLife

Life 180 University: Get Your Mind Right & Your Body Will Follow
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How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem
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Written by Roland · Categorized: Personal Development, Transformational · Tagged: Changing Behavior, healthy self-image, low self-esteem, self-beliefs

Dec 01 2016

The Problem With Respect

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Does Anyone Truly Deserve REspect

Respect is Tricky

Have Some Respect! Show Respect! I Deserve Respect! I’m sure you’ve heard, thought, or seen statements like those. I certainly have. But respect—or the lack of—causes many problems. Families have been torn apart by feuds when members felt they were disrespected. Countless children have been punished for acting disrespectfully to their parents, teachers, or other authority figures. Employees have lost their jobs over issues of respect. Some people even get violently upset if they don’t get respect. In fact, throughout history dictators and tyrants have routinely executed people who failed to show them respect.

Is it really worth that much pain?

The truth is, only you can decide if respect is worth creating chaos and discord in your life. But first we must understand what it really is and where its roots lie.

Here’s Merriam-Webster’s definition of Respect:

  1. A feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.
  2. A feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way.

Let’s look at the definition, hear its meaning, and feel the concepts. When we think someone or something is good, valuable, or important we’re naturally going to feel respect for that person or thing. So respect for that person or thing is an expected outgrowth of the value we think they or it have in our lives. When we feel that level of regard for a person or thing we’re certainly going to treat them or it in an appropriate way. Once again, when high esteem comes from within us we behave accordingly without external force or coercion.

And that’s how it should be. True respect isn’t something that can be forced out of us, or that we can force from others. When its outward appearance comes from force or compulsion, it’s really disguised fear we’re seeing. And that’s totally different because it isn’t a behavior intrinsically manifesting as a result of value received, it’s a behavior manifesting from fear of punishment or harm.

So why do people get upset when they aren’t getting respect or when something or someone they think deserves respect isn’t getting it?

Feeling Disrepected Comes From Feelings of Inadequacy

Ego. I know. That little word keeps popping up in our lives. It’s a dichotic beast that both serves and plagues us as we learn to coexist peacefully with it.

When we—or others—feel disrespected we’re really feeling that we deserve to be treated as someone that is good, valuable, or important to the person or persons showing us disrespect. It’s clear isn’t it? Feeling disrespected can only come from feeling inadequate and seeking external validation of our personal worth. And when we feel angry because another person or thing isn’t getting the respect—we think—it deserves, that’s ego too because we’re feeling threatened that another doesn’t find the same value in the person or thing that we do.

But that brings up two very important questions.

  1. Are we truly providing the value necessary to foster feelings of respect from others?
  2. If we are providing that level of value, do we truly deserve respect?

Consider this: Does anyone truly deserve respect?

You Cannot Force Respect

If respect is the natural result of the perceived value added to someone’s life then there’s no deserving involved. The concept of deserving means I’ve done this and therefore must receive that in exchange. Or it can mean because I am who I am, you should give me that—based solely on the merits of who I am. You, of course, understand the flaws in this thinking.

Respect is a river of added value flowing through the lives of those who feel it. If the value ceases then the waters feeding respect eventually cease to flow. When that happens it’s up to the recipient of the value to either hold onto their feelings of respect or let them wither. But the key is it’s up to them. You cannot force another to feel respect for you or something you hold in high regard because you cannot force others to feel anything. Their feelings are based on their thoughts and choices, and while perhaps influenced by your actions aren’t created by them.

So the next time you feel disrespected, ask yourself, “Am I truly providing the value necessary to receive their respect?” And even better, remember that no one truly deserves respect. How can they? It’s is a gift. If you receive it, wonderful! If you don’t, that’s okay! Go on living your life as best you can and let others decide how they feel about your value because in the end it’s up to them.

Always Remember:

You Are The Master of Your Destiny!

Roland

#Respect #InnerPeace #Deserve #PersonalTransformation #Mindset #MentalGame#SelfWorth #SelfLove #Mindfullness

Life 180 University: Get Your Mind Right & Your Body Will Follow
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The Problem With Respect
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Written by Roland · Categorized: Personal Development, Transformational · Tagged: Choice, Deserve, Ego, Respect

Nov 23 2016

What Are You Grateful For?

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Before I learned the Power of Gratitude, I used to dread the holidays

Are You Grateful?

I used to dread the holidays. For many people they are a time of great rejoicing. For me they were a time of great depression, anxiety, and despair. They were an extended reminder of the things I thought I was missing in my life. I later learned the problem wasn’t the holidays. The problem was within me. The problem was where I was looking, the negative soundtrack in my head, and the feelings I entertained. Understand, I’d had a lifetime creating a negative-feedback loop in my mind and I saw it escalate every year between October and January.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever watched your life and wondered why things weren’t working out? Or heard the discord of negative thoughts and emotions spin out of control during the holidays?

It’s exhausting and can be debilitating.

But I broke the cycle. I learned the power of thoughts, that we always have a choice what thoughts we focus on, entertain, and listen to. I also learned about Gratitude—the secret weapon against despair.

Gratitude replaces negative emotions. It fills us with hope and opens our eyes to the beauty of life.

Gratitude replaces negative emotions. It fills us with hope and opens our eyes to the beauty of life. And life is beautiful. Life is an intricate tapestry of emotions, experiences, thoughts, and people woven into the pattern of our choosing.

We get to choose what life means. No matter what happens, no matter where we are, how bad we think we have it, or what we’re going through, we always have the choice what life means to us.

Deepak Chopra says, “The meaning of the event is the event.”

And it’s true. The same thing can happen to three different people and all of them can come away with a different experience because all of them filter the event through their life-lens.

If you’re suffering from depression during the holidays, then perhaps your lens is dirty. Try cleaning it with a healthy dose of gratitude!

How to Start a Gratitude Habit

When I started learning the power of gratitude I kept a daily gratitude journal. Every morning I’d write ten to twenty things I was grateful for. Why? This helps train your mind to look for and find the positive in situations. It also helps you understand that there are always things to feel grateful for because you’re opening your eyes, ears, and heart to the gifts in your life.

I know this can seem difficult if you’re embedded in depression but I promise, if you look, you’ll discover things to feel grateful for.

Let’s get started. Take a piece of paper and write, “I’m grateful for _____________” and put the first things that comes to mind in the blank. It can be as simple as, “I’m grateful for my shoes!” Or, “I’m grateful for my skin!” List anything you feel grateful for. Once you get in the habit, you’ll realize that you can feel gratitude for everything in your life.

I’ll Start a List to Show You How Easy It Is!

  • I’m grateful for my life!
  • I’m grateful for my family!
  • I’m grateful for my beautiful wife!
  • I’m grateful for my amazing children!
  • I’m grateful for the air I breathe!
  • I’m grateful for the sun and the moon and the stars!
  • I’m grateful for the beauty of our world!
  • I’m grateful for the oceans!
  • I’m grateful for hope!
  • I’m grateful for my health!
  • Most of all, I’m grateful for you!

What are You Grateful For?

Always Remember:

You Are The Master of Your Destiny!

Roland

#Gratitude #Depression #Holidays #Habit #SelfHelp

Life 180 University: Get Your Mind Right & Your Body Will Follow
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What Are You Grateful For?
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Written by Roland · Categorized: Personal Development, Transformational · Tagged: Depression, Gratitude, Holidays, Power of Thought, Success

Nov 02 2016

Do You Know Your Why?

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Your Why is the reason you want to live your passion

Knowing Your Why Matters!

Have you ever felt like you’re making no real progress with your passion, like you aren’t gaining traction, or you just don’t see the results you hoped for?

I have. I used to feel that way a lot!

So what’s the deal? If we love what we’re doing, and we work hard, we should realize awesome results. Right?

You’d think so. But as you know, that’s not always the case. Sometimes we’re working hard…but not doing the things that truly matter. Sometimes we’re doing the things that matter but we’re inconsistent in our efforts. Sometimes we work hard for weeks or months and then lose our drive and momentum. Sometimes we get distracted by something else that seems really, really shiny. We think it’ll help up reach our dream faster but in reality it just pulls us off course because it takes time, energy, and effort away from our dream.

The problem is any of these can slow, stall, or completely derail our dreams!

It’s easy to get overwhelmed and even lose momentum when you’re working toward living your passion. The key is to truly understand your ‘why’. Your ‘why’ is the reason you want to live your passion. Your ‘why’ is what gives you that extra push when things are tough. Your ‘why’ is what you’ll gain by living your passion.

Once I really figured out my ‘why’ I started realizing amazing results!

I used to think my passion and my ‘why’ were the same. So I thought I knew my ‘why’. I was good. No need to do anything extra in that area, Right?

Wrong.

I discovered that my ‘why’ and my passion aren’t the same, not exactly. I discovered that knowing my passion wasn’t always enough to keep me focused. So I kept experiencing slowdowns on my path to living my passion.

Have you ever experienced slowdowns on your path toward living your dreams?

Then you know how frustrating it is!

Once I understood the difference between my ‘why’ and my passion, I got clear on my ‘why’. My passion is helping people create lasting change and better lives for themselves and those around them, empowering others through speaking and writing. My ‘why’ is the feeling I get from helping others—doing as much good in the world as I can—and a huge part of my ‘why’ is having time for my family, being my own boss, and the ability to do what I want, when I want.

My passion is what I love doing. My ‘why’ is what I personally get from doing my passion.

Did you just have an ah-ha moment?

You understand that knowing your passion is critical to your success. Knowing your ‘why’ is critical to creating the momentum necessary to live your passion.

 

I’m still working toward living my passion full time. And I’m getting closer every day! Since I’ve discovered the difference between my passion and my ‘why’, my results have been astounding! It’s like the Universe is lining up people and events to help me on the path to my dreams!

Discover Your Why

How can You Discover Your Why?

A good place to start is by imagining your perfect day because your perfect day will be full of things and people you love. These are clues to your ‘why’.

Read the following questions to prime your mind, then imagine your perfect day.

 

What happens during your perfect day?

What are you doing?

Who are you with?

Where are you?

What are the sights, the sounds, the scents, the textures?

What feeling does your perfect day evoke?

 

Now that you’ve got your perfect day in mind, answer these questions:

What opportunities will living my passion give me?

What can I do when I’m living my passion that I’m unable to do now?

What excites me the most about living my passion?

 

These answers are Your Why. They’re the reasons you want to live your passion. They’re the things that’ll keep you going when things are tough.

Think about your ‘why’ daily. Think about your why when you run into resistance on the path to your goals and dreams. Remember the reasons you’re working to live your passion.

To help you keep your ‘why’ in mind, I’ve created a downloadable worksheet for you. Download it, fill it out, and review it daily.

 

Always Remember:

You Are The Master of Your Destiny!

Roland

#Success #Passion #KnowYourWhy #TakeAction

Life 180 University: Get Your Mind Right & Your Body Will Follow
Life 180 University
Do You Know Your Why?
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Written by Roland · Categorized: Personal Development, Success · Tagged: Know Your Why, Live Your Passion, Success, Take Action

Sep 04 2016

Living Your Passion

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Start Living Your Passion

How to Start Living Your Passion

In our last blog post we discussed the Importance of Discovering Your Passion and gave you a great method for discovering it! Now that you’ve Discovered Your Passion it’s time to live your passion!

Well, that’s easy to say…but how do you do it?

The best way I’ve found to start living your passion is to ask, “How can I use my passion to help others?” and start doing that. This is a powerful method for living your passion because it gives you greater purpose than just living your passion for yourself. It also gives you a way to monetize your passion—to make money with your passion. And when you make enough money living your passion, you can live it full time!

Take a moment right now, print this page, and write down five things you can do to help others with your passion.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Now choose the one that excites you the most and start doing it!

It’s okay to start small. It’s okay to mess up and be imperfect. Just Start!

Unless you start you’ll never improve. Unless you start you’ll never truly fulfil your purpose, your calling in life. So Start Already. Remember; no one is polished or perfect at their craft in the beginning. As you invest more time and effort into your passion you’ll grow and improve. More time and effort means faster improvement. As you grow you’ll be able to help more, to reach more people, and to truly live.

Caution! Living your passion isn’t for the faint of heart.

Living Your Passion Takes Time and Effort

Living Your Passion Takes Time and Effort!

There’s a misconception that living your passion means you’ll effortlessly succeed. Nope. Living your passion means you’ll have an easier time motivating yourself to do what it takes to create success. But you still must put in the time and effort to learn, grow, and perfect your craft. So understand that while the choice to do what you love is the way to fulfill your life’s purpose, it isn’t necessarily an easy road.

But it’s worth it! The best part of living your passion is who you become in the process. It’s the journey, the growth, the self-discovery, the joy of helping others that helps make discovering your passion and living it worthwhile.

You Are The Master of Your Destiny!

Roland

#LiveYourPassion #Purpose #Persistence #Success

Life 180 University: Get Your Mind Right & Your Body Will Follow
Life 180 University
Living Your Passion
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Written by Roland · Categorized: Personal Development, Transformational · Tagged: Live Your Calling, Live Your Passion, Passion, Purpose

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