The Day Everything Changed…
My doctor’s a nice old guy. The kind who never sugar coats anything. He’s reviewing my test results. My blood pressure is higher than it should be. My cholesterol count is high enough that he’s talking medication. My weight is close to 260 lbs. He shoots a hard look my way and says, “According to medical standards you’re Grossly Obese.”
“WHAT?” I blurt. “I’m not obese!” Disbelief and shock set in. Then he shows me the charts. He’s right, I’m Grossly Obese. My head spins. How can that be? The blinders start to slip.
He leaves the room. I’m stunned. When my head stops spinning I take a long look in his mirror. The blinders disappear and I see myself clearly. He’s right! I look like a blob.
How Did That Happen?
I love working out. I started bodybuilding at 12 years old because I thought if I were strong enough, my stepfather could never hurt me again, that life couldn’t touch me. That was the start of my life-long love of exercise.But there was a problem. The beatings and abuse throughout my childhood had also damaged my self-confidence and self-esteem.
So, early on, I developed a pattern of working out and making great gains, until I missed a workout or two… Then I’d start having anxiety and panic attacks about going to the gym. I was convinced that everyone in the gym was watching and judging me. I imagined them laughing in my face, taunting me, “You’re a failure and a fraud! You’re weak and worthless!” And these voices from my low self-esteem would stop me from stepping foot into the gym.
This wasn’t a huge deal when I was younger. I’d just end up a skinnier version of myself because I had a fast metabolism. Although it kept me from getting as muscular as I wanted, it was just an annoyance.
This pattern continues throughout my life.
By the time I’m 30, I weigh between 220 and 225. I love it! I feel strong! I feel powerful!
But I’m still insecure and lack confidence. After almost a year of intense, consistent workouts, I miss a few. That starts the anxiety and panic attacks. They kick in every time I think of going to the gym. Some days I even drive to the gym at 5 am. Then I sit in my car for awhile, often as long as 30 minutes, trying desperately to muster the courage to go in before I tuck tail and either go to the office early or go home. I eventually give up and quit working out altogether. It’s easier to quit than to keep tormenting myself by driving to the gym when I know I won’t go in.
I tell myself, and anyone who asks, that it’s because I’m too busy. But I know that’s a lie. The problem is I’m working a desk job and keep eating the same as I did when I was working out 2 to 3 hours a day…
By the time I’m 33, I know I’m out of shape but I do that thing that guys do. I Look in the mirror and tell myself I’m not that bad. I’m a little heavy, sure… But I have blinders on so I’m unwilling to admit it. It helps that I never weigh myself because I know the truth would be depressing. I’m in pain all the time. I can’t even pick up my kids without fear of hurting my back. And when I do hurt it, I’m down for days. Let’s not even talk abut endurance. That’s nonexistent.
And then comes the day when it’s time for my checkup.
In in the Dr’s office. He’s a nice old guy. The kind who never sugar coats anything… “…You’re Grossly Obese.”
That’s when I decide this is unacceptable! I’m better than this!
And that’s the day I realized, it wasn’t enough to know how to exercise. I needed a mental solution and I needed a lifestyle change. So without knowing what I was going to do or how to find it, I committed to finding the secrets of what high-performance fitness people did in their minds that I didn’t know. I quested, devouring, reading, studying the unconscious mind, NLP, Hypnosis, and other techniques, until I was able to create a healthy and fit mindset in myself. I’d finally conquered the low self-esteem and shame that used to keep me out of the gym.
Seven months later I was down to 185! How? I’d created a healthy and fit mindset! My new mindset gave me positive results in my health, my fitness, and other areas of my life. And for over 15 years my Health and Fitness mindset has continues to serve me well!Today what drives me is teaching others the mindset that had long been missing in my path but changed everything for me.
Learn how you can create your health and fitness mindset and start getting long-term, sustainable results!