Why is Forgiveness so Powerful?
First, let’s clear up some common misconceptions about forgiveness. There seems to be a belief—at least in western society—that forgiveness means you’re saying that, “Whatever happened is okay.”
That is the farthest thing from the truth. Forgiveness simply means that you are letting go of the pain that you’ve been holding onto because of whatever it was that happened.
Let’s clear that up first. You can forgive someone else or even yourself without necessarily saying that whatever happened was okay because maybe it wasn’t okay. Maybe it will never be okay. That happens. And if that’s the case, fine. Forgiving yourself or them might never make it okay.
Forgive Anyway Because Forgiving is Just Letting Go.
Let’s get really clear on that. Forgiving means letting go of the pain that you’ve been holding onto because of whatever happened in the past.
When you let go of that pain, you’ll be able to start enjoying life again. You’ll be able to start feeling better about yourself because forgiveness also means taking your life and your power back!
When you’re holding onto pain or anger or hate or whatever-it-is because of something that happened, then you’re giving up a part of your life to that event or that other person. You’re giving them control over you. You’re giving them control over what you’re doing, what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling…
We’ve all seen the people who go through life as bitter, hollow shells of themselves because of something that happened.
That’s a Choice. You can Let Go of the Pain.
There are also people you’ve seen who had something really horrible happen and they let it go and they go on to live normal, healthy, happy, productive lives because they let it go.
Forgiveness gives you the power to take back control of your life. Imagine that whatever happened is an anchor on the end of a massive chain and it’s holding you back. When you forgive, you cut the chain! Thus freeing yourself up to start moving again now, to start being a part of life now, to start loving and caring fully now, to start being vulnerable again now, to start allowing yourself to experience the full beauty of life now.
Forgiveness also allows you to take back the energy that was expended in staying in that angry, hurtful, hateful, whatever-it-was state. It takes energy to stay there. Forgiveness allows you to take that energy back and instead of using it to maintain that old state, it allows you to take that energy back and start using it in a more productive way in your life. It allows you to move forward, to break free! It allows you to start living again!
Sometimes the person we have to forgive most is ourselves. When that’s the case… Do It. Learn what you need to learn so you’ll never repeat whatever-it-was that happened and move on, because you can’t take anything back. You can’t undo something you did. Someone else can’t undo something that they did. Things that have happened, have happened. The difference is going to be what meaning are you giving it.
When you forgive, you can start using whatever-it-was that happened, whether it was you or someone else who did it or whether it was an act of God or act of nature—horrible things sometimes happen that are completely random—for your good. When you forgive and you change the meaning, then you’re able to move more easily and effortlessly through life.
If you’re wondering how you can start? You can start by asking yourself questions like these:
“What can I learn from what happened?”
“What can I take from that that can be positive, that can help me be a better person?”
“What can I take from that that can help me help others?”
“How can I use whatever-it-was that happened to help me be a force for good in this world?”
Start asking yourself better questions and Cut Those Chains! Forgive so you can more easily and effortlessly move on with your life.
You Are the Master of Your Destiny!
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