Why People Fail
Before we get into that, let’s discuss, “What is Failure?” Because when you think of the statement, “Why People Fail.” You’re most likely thinking of failure as a horrible result—where the person gets the worst outcome that could possibly happen from the efforts that they’re putting in.
It’s true, that’s one kind of failure. That’s a massive failure. And it happens.
There’s another kind of failure to notice and be aware of. And that’s the type of failure that happens all the time. It’s the failure that’s a definite and necessary part of the learning process because we can never learn how to do something if we aren’t failing.
When we try something and it works out differently that how we’d expected, that’s a failure.
Right?
How To Use Failure To Grow
You take the results you got. You figure out what part is working and you keep that. The parts that weren’t working you throw out. Then figure out what you need to do differently, and start either over or build on it. It’s taking what works, remembering it, learning from it, and letting go of the rest.
When someone experiences a normal failure that’s a part of the learning process. That’s okay! That’s just part of the gig. That’s how we learn. That’s how we grow! And when we are learning and growing, then failure’s okay.
What about the other failure though, the type of failure that happens when people totally self-destruct? Or when everything falls apart? Or something goes horribly wrong and just totally off the rails?
That’s failure’s a problem. That’s a real problem. There are opportunities to learn from that. You have the ability to take what worked and run with it, and grow and build and figure out what you can do differently next time. And there’s also your ability to completely throw it out and start over. Your ability to be the phoenix rising from the ashes—of your life or the event or whatever happened.
What Causes Massive Failure?
That kind of failure though… The massive failure. That kind of failure comes from a mindset that’s unsupportive of what the person is trying to do. It comes across in things like self-sabotage. That type of failure comes around when the unconscious mind is completely unsupportive of what the conscious mind is trying to do. It can also happen when the unconscious mind forgot to unlearn something that it learned in the past, something that seemed to make sense when it learned it but now isn’t working. And maybe it never worked!
Sometimes, our unconscious minds, learn how to do stuff that never really works. But it fills a need and it’s what we know. So we run with it. The way to overcome that kind of failure is to master your mindset, to start doing things that help support your goals, support your dreams, and support the results you want.
We have no ability to control the results we’re getting. But we can control our efforts 100%. And when our efforts are amazing and they’re brilliantly building on what we want to do, then the results are going to come.
We may get the results we want. We may get better results than we want. It’s our job to make sure we have the mindset necessary to get the results we truly desire. And the way to do that is to start paying attention to what you’re thinking.
How To Overcome an Unsupportive Mindset
This is one of the very first steps. Pay attention to your thoughts. Do your thoughts support what you want? Or are you tearing yourself down? Are you your own worst critic? Or are you your best cheerleader?
It’s good to notice what you’re doing that’s working and what you’re doing that isn’t working. It’s great to give yourself feedback and to get feedback from other people. As you know, there’s a difference between giving yourself positive, critical feedback and being critical of yourself.
What are you doing? How do you talk to yourself?
If you were walking down the street and you heard someone talking to a friend, a loved one, or a stranger the way you talk to yourself… What would you think?
Consider that for a moment…
What would you think if you heard someone else talking to another person the way you talk to yourself?
That’s what I want you to work on this week. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Start noticing, what you say, how you say it, and the emotions that are driving it.
Always remember, you are the master of your destiny!
Roland
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