It’s OK to admit it. I’ve felt sorry for myself in the past. Most people have jumped onboard the self-pity train at least once or twice. The trick is; what do you do when you realize you’re feeling sorry for yourself?
Do you wallow and look for reason to feel even worse?
Do you figure out the root cause and seek solutions?
Wallowing in self-pity is a great way to start a downward spiral. It kills motivation, zaps energy, and opens the flood gates of depression. Feeling sorry for yourself reinforces subconscious beliefs about failure and low self-worth. In fact, if you have low self-esteem your subconscious mind is always looking for things to feel bad about. That way it can say, “See! I told you so!”
But do you think feeling sorry for yourself solves anything? Does it empower you to grow or conquer your fears?
Sometimes you just have to tell your subconscious mind to “SHUT UP!”
You want to do this as kindly as possible though. So instead of yelling at your subconscious when that cancerous feeling of self-pity sneaks up on you, redirect your thoughts to something positive. The best way I’ve found is to use Gratitude. Gratitude is your immunization against despair and self-pity. Gratitude is the best antibiotic ever invented for zapping those pesky self-defeating feelings that occasionally visit each of us.
“So, how do I use gratitude to beat self-pity?”
One way is to remind yourself that it could be worse. Say you’re living out of your car—and yes I’ve done that—and you’re feeling sorry that you don’t have an apartment or house. A way to feel gratitude is to say, “I’m glad I’m able to sleep in a car instead of on the street!”
Here’s another example. Maybe you’re having trouble paying your bills and you’re feeling sorry for yourself that you aren’t bringing in the money you want. You can say, “I’m so glad I have a job!”
In both of those situations, the next step is to do something about it. Look for an apartment or a job. Feel gratitude about what you have and move your feet to make things better.
It may not feel like it at the time, but every situation has something good in it. There is always a lesson to learn or a path opened or something wonderful that can happen as a result of what you’re going through!
Gratitude is the key to discovering these.
So the next time you’re feeling sorry for yourself, take two doses of gratitude. You’ll feel better right away.
You Are The Master of Your Destiny!
Copyright © 2011 Roland Byrd — All Rights Reserved